


The Death of FN-2187

by SorchaCahill



Series: Awakenings [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, before he was Finn, there has been an awakening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 17:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5710717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SorchaCahill/pseuds/SorchaCahill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stormtroopers of the First Order undergo rigorous field exercises and behavioral and personality training, all to make the perfect soldier. FN-2187 has lived under the First Order since before he could remember. He'd been tested before but this time it was different. This time the misgivings that had whispered in his mind became a dull roar that couldn't be ignored.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Death of FN-2187

Sweat trickled down the back of his neck and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. His fellow Stormtroopers stood quietly around him, eager for the ship to land and for the assault to begin. FN-2187 wasn’t sure he shared their enthusiasm. In fact he was pretty damn sure what he was feeling was as far from enthusiasm as one could get. No matter how tightly he gripped his blaster he could feel his hands shake. He tried to control his breathing, to focus on the orders he’d been given. Captain Phasma had been very clear: subdue the villagers by any means necessary but the Resistance pilot was off limits. Kylo Ren wanted him alive.

FN-2003 stood next to him, somehow seeming much calmer than he expected him to be. As if sensing his unease, his friend nudged him in the arm. “Relax, Eight-Seven, good old Slip here has your back.”

“I’m fine,” he lied even as more sweat dripped down his spine. This wasn’t a “restore order” mission, this was a full-out battle. He was expected to fight, to learn what it really meant to be a Stormtrooper. 

“Shut up, you two. We’ve got a job to do.”

“Aw, come on, Nines. You gotta lighten up a bit.”

“And you need to focus.”

“All of you, quiet. We will be landing on Jakku in less than five minutes. You have your orders and I expect you all to do your jobs.” Captain Phasma’s voice rang from behind them and it took everything in him to not flinch. He couldn’t help but think that those words were particularly meant for him.

It seemed like only seconds later that the ship landed on the planet’s surface. Eight-Seven shifted on his feet, his hands clenching his blaster tightly as the back end of the shuttle opened and the ramp fell down onto the sand. The Stormtroopers ahead of him ran down the ramp, firing their blasters at anything that moved. Eight-Seven followed but pulling the trigger was harder than he thought it would be, especially once he heard the screams of the villagers echoing around him.

None of his fellow Stormtroopers seemed to have the same hesitation, not even Slip or Nines. He watched them as they moved through the settlement, sure in their movements and their actions. They didn’t hesitate, didn’t question what they were doing, they just followed orders.

He had always played by the rules, had followed orders ever since the First Order took him, but then he’d never been put to the test like this before. He knew of other Stormtroopers who had been sent for reconditioning but he had never been one of them. He knew he’d been toeing the line back on Pressylla by not executing the unarmed negotiator and that this battle on Jakku was a test of his loyalty, he wasn’t stupid, but still the doubts lingered.

Slip was two steps ahead of him when he spun around and collapsed to the ground as blaster fire hit him. Eight-Seven rushed to his side even though he knew it was a useless gesture. The blaster had taken Slip right in the chest.  He watched helpless as the life drained out of his friend’s body. With his last breath, Slip raised his hand to touch Eight-Seven’s helmet and he felt something shudder within him.

This was wrong. What they were doing was wrong.

Even as the thought bloomed in his head, pain bloomed in his head. He fought against it. The conditioning the First Order had instilled in all the Stormtroopers was strong but whatever was rising within him was stronger. The conditioning was meant to suppress their emotions and make them good soldiers but fear was leaking through the conditioning. Fear and something else that he couldn’t quite name. The wall was coming down and everything was pouring through, nearly overwhelming him.

“Eight-Seven, get up. We have a job to do.” 

Nines grabbed his arm and hauled him up to his feet, ordering him to keep fighting. Eight-Seven shook his head upon standing, trying to shake of the dizziness that had overcome him. Something was smeared over the lenses of his helmet, slightly obstructing his view but it didn’t block the horror of what lay out before them. 

Bodies lay strewn across the sand, blood pooling under them, their eyes lifeless. A flametrooper had set fire to several dwellings and the fire was spreading throughout the rest of small village. He could hear the screams of people trapped inside and knew in that instant that he would hear those screams in his sleep until the day he died.

The Stormtrooper who had hauled him to his feet pulled him over to where several of their fellow troopers stood in a half-circle, pinning down the settlement’s inhabitants. He could see the fear on their faces, hear the anguish in their cries as a half dozen blasters were aimed at them. 

The dark shadow of Kylo Ren stood slightly off to the side, confronting one of the inhabitants, only the man didn’t look like the others. He held himself differently and his flippant tone when he spoke to Kylo Ren would have gotten any other person killed but to Eight-Seven’s surprise that didn’t happen. Instead the two Stormtroopers holding him dragged the man to the command ship and he realized that the man must be the Resistance fighter they were looking for.

“Kill them all.”

The villagers screamed as blaster fire cut them down one by one. Eight-Seven held his blaster at the ready but he didn’t fire. He couldn’t fire. He just couldn’t. Just like back on Pressylla he couldn’t fire his blaster.

As the firing stopped he saw Kylo Ren striding back to the command ship. The sweat on the back on his neck chilled as the dark warrior stopped and looked at him. Where he had felt fear before, now pure terror washed over him. Every Stormtrooper knew about the rages Kylo Ren went into and they all stepped lightly around him. No one wanted to be the focus of his attention.

A breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding rushed out of him as Kylo Ren continued back to the ship. Could the former Jedi have read his traitorous thoughts?

Shaking it off he looked over the settlement again. His fellow Stormtroopers were going through the ramshackled huts, hunting out any remaining survivors.

This was wrong. What they were doing wasn’t right and he realized that he couldn’t be a part of this anymore. The last bits of the wall crumbled down as it all became so clear to him

He needed to do the right thing. He  _ wanted _ to do the right thing.

The ground under him vibrated as the command ship took off and suddenly he knew how he could try to make things right. It would take a miracle to pull it off but he knew if he didn’t try he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

He’d rather die awake than live in an obedient haze.

 


End file.
